Response to "Dating: What's the Point?"

In David Cloutier's book "Love, Reason, and God's Story," Chapter 5 examines the position of "anti-daters" on today's culture. These anti-daters say that dating is essentially practice for divorce. Personally, I do not agree with the anti-daters. I think their view can be pretty pessimistic at times; a solid dating relationship should involove mutual interest, trust, and, over time, true love could happen. Dating can be a good learning experience in who and what qualities you are attracted to, learning your own faults, and improving communication skills, to name a few. However, when put into the context of today's "casual dating" or "hook-up culture," I can more clearly see where the anti-daters are coming from. The hook up culture, which is prevalent in the college scene, basically envolves a casual sexual encounter-- usually with "no strings attached"-- that could vary from kissing to oral sex or sexual intercourse. These hook ups, usually instigated at parties with the help of alcohol, often involve little to no communication afterward, as Christine B. Whelan's article shows in a survey of college-aged young adults. With these casual encounters, I can see where the anti daters make their point: after a while, the hook ups may lead to desperation and an inability to form meaningful relationships. Serial hook ups, with the lack of commitment on one or both sides, could be one of those habits that is a "practice for divorce" that the anti-daters bring up. The reason, however, that I do not agree 100% with the anti-daters' position is that to me, there is a fundamental difference between hook ups and dating: Dating (usually) involves emotional commitment, whereas hook ups are much more casual, brief physical/sexual encounters. Both dating and hook ups are common in the adolescent and young adult age group; however, I think that hook ups are much more common in college than in high schools. I do, however, see the prevalence of this attitude towards relationships when visiting my friends in college.